Sifuna, Babu lead Senate, governor contests (Star, March 5, p.1). Intro: A new poll has revealed the dominant positions of Nairobi Senator Edwin Sifuna and Embakasi East MP Babu Owino in the lead-up to the coming elections (p.4). Uh, new poll. When was it done, mzae? Para 4: The poll, conducted through computer-aided interviews from July 25 to 27…Ngoja kidogo, that’s more than seven months ago, si ndio? Why is the poll being released from Lion Place archives now? Does this old survey show how things are on the ground in Nairobi today?
Alafu several paras down: The rapidly evolving political landscape in Nairobi is complicated by a volatile electorate that remains open to consolidation. Rapidly evolving political landscape, lakini opinion poll done last July is still valid in March?
Second suspect in Kandie murder to serve 15 years (Star, March 5, p.9). We said it the other week, hamsikii? No court sentences a “suspect”. Intro: A second suspect in the murder of marathoner Samson Kandie has been sentenced to 15 years in prison for manslaughter. Nah. A suspect is arrested, charged, tried, convicted and then sentenced. All through, the suspect remains innocent and can’t be sentenced until convicted, awitugeza?
Lenacapavir rollout to curb new HIV infections (MyGov, March 3, p.1). Lenacapavir is not a headline word, especially for the lead story in a newspaper. Leave that to medical journals. Get a lighter, brighter header than this dull line. Say, relief as new anti-HIV drug rolled out.
After learning that Emurua Dikirr MP Ng’eno was among the victims, she positively identify him (Standard, March 4, p.3). Sasa, hii ni tense gani, mtu nguyaz?
Lying Mbadi: CS admits in court he misled MPs over Sh5 trillion fund (Standard, March 4, p.4). Intro: Treasury Cabinet Secretary John Mbadi’s admission in an affidavit yesterday that he lied to Kenyans over the controversial Sh5 trillion infrastructure fund is not surprising, given he has been engaging in populist politics at the expense of the sensitive and heavy workload his office carries. This is commentary, a subjective view of the news. The writer doesn’t seem to understand the ethical canon to separate fact from opinion.
Rubbing it in: In official court papers filed recently at the Milimani High Court, the Treasury boss, without flinching, swore an affidavit last week confessing that he misled Kenyans on the establishment of the National Infrastructure Fund. Ati “without flinching”? The writer imputes an ill motive to Mbadi without evidence. Safer to just report the facts. Trust the reader will decide what to make of them.
Murder suspect commits suicide (Standard, March 4, p.6). Intro: A student at Chuka University has committed suicide following the death of her boyfriend. No. Write “dies/died by suicide”.
Wetang’ula said the Hose had lost one of its most disciplined and effective members…(Standard, March 4, p.7). Ala, what “Hose”? We can swear to Jehovah Wanyonyi that Weta never said that.
How high-value bee products can unlock millions for Kenyans (Enterprise, Standard, March 4, p.4). Reforms unlock much-needed research cash for universities. Is this “unlock” what some people call kutoa lock?
Fallen Emurua Dikirr MP Johanna Ng’eno may not have been a good debater in the National Assembly. He may not have sponsored any Bill, at least in the life of the current 13th Parliament, as per the House records, but his defence of multiparty democracy, the oversight and representation roles he executed fearlessly, cannot be taken away from him (nation.africa, March 3). Wacha wewe, an MP can’t be a noted defender of democracy and perform his oversight and representation roles “fearlessly” without being a good debater. Aje sasa?
The election [in Kilgoris constituency] was fought purely as an ethnic war as the parliamentary race turned into an outright political battle between the Maasai and Kipsigis communities (Nation, March 4, p.2). Wordy, repetitive. Election is again called parliamentary battle in the same sentence; ethnic war repeated as political battle. Trim the fat. The election was fought purely as an ethnic war between the Maasai and Kipsigis. Bila mbrrrcha.
