By Ghost Writer
Three die after illicit alcohol drinking spree in Kimende (Standard, September 22, p.6). That is in Kiambu County, right? Para 2: Hundreds of residents stormed Kimende shopping centre after news of the deaths broke, hoping to save the three men. Illogical. Imagine residents stampeding to Kimende town “after news of the deaths broke”, ati hoping to save the victims. Aje sasa? Kimende has no record of miracle workers raising the dead, buana.
The week-long engagement [Senate Mashinani sittings in Kilifi] also serves as a peer-exchange platform for Members of the County Assembly (MCAs) to interact with the senators (People Daily, September 21, p.3). Peer exchange gani hiyo? Mpenzi mwanahabari, how are MCAs and senators “peers”? Peers are persons of the same age, rank or status.
Photo caption: Kanu chairman Gideon Moi with the German ambassador to Kenya Sebastian Groth at his residence in Nairobi yesterday (Standard, September 22, p.3). At whose residence? The possessive pronoun “his” is ambiguous, as it could refer to either man. Best to specify. At the envoy’s or Moi’s residence. Clarity muhimu in this business.
Defuse the ticking bomb of youth unemployment (Daily Nation editorial, September 22, p.16). Kweli kabsaa. Para 5: A review of the staffing composition at the Central Bank of Kenya (CBK), the National Lands Commission, Agriculture and Food Authority and the Public Service Commission has confirmed that most of their employees are aged 50 and above, locking out the youth who are the demographic aged between 18 and 35. Is this a solution to youth unemployment? Should state agencies fire competent, experienced and dedicated staff before their legal retirement age as a way of creating jobs for the youth? Banaa, you “kent” parade such simplistic thinking in an editorial.
SHA main focus of Ruto’s health agenda at global conference (Nation, September 23, p.2). Intro: President William Ruto used a meeting with the Kenyan diaspora to mount his most direct defence yet of the Social Health Authority (SHA), saying “they should disregard the deliberate misrepresentation of the programme’s record.” Is the Kenyan diaspora Prezzo addressed the “global conference” mentioned in the headline?
Nah, read on. Buried down in Para 10: Dr Ruto was scheduled to deliver Kenya’s main address to the General Assembly on Tuesday, and is also expected to attend a Global Health Summit on Friday. Poor reader made to plough through nine paras before getting an idea of what the headline is about, sigh. Under CBC assessments such news writing would be graded BE, Below Expectation.
University enrolment crosses 700,000 mark as staffing lags (Nation, September 23, p.3). Intro: University student enrolment rose by 78,719 to 707,150 in 2025, crossing the 700,000 mark as staffing growth lagged behind demand, according to the Commission for University Education’s 2025 University Statistics Report. Ahem. Headline tells you university enrolment has crossed the 700,000 mark. Isn’t that clear enough? Why is the same info repeated in the intro, even when the reader already sees that 707,150 means “crossing the 700,000 mark”? Write tighter.
Family in pain as kin found dead (Standard, September 23, p.7). Ee? What a flat headline. A family will, naturally, be pained by the death of a relative. So, what is the news? The answer is what makes journalism unique from other forms of content. Find a striking element in the story and slap it on the headline.
