“School Board of Management chairman Patrick Nyagusia said the flames consumed property of unknown value.” (Nation, July 12). Journalists like this meaningless expression, “property of unknown value”. What does it mean? Why should journalists report what they don’t know? What is the reader expected to understand by this? Does “unknown value” mean big or small value?
But beneath this shiny veneer is a tale of pain, anguish and broken dreams for a multitude of Kenyans who feel trapped on the train that ably fits the moniker Orient Express, because on it, Chinese nationals have created a small kingdom in which they run roughshod over Kenyan workers who say they are experiencing neo-colonialism, racism and blatant discrimination as the taxpayer foots the Sh30million a day bill for the train, which losely translates to Sh1billion at the end of every month. (The Standard, July 8) This sentence has 83 words! Too many things packed together it is impossible to understand.
Mr Bedi said the 75 days it takes for fabric from Asia to reach manufacturers in Kenya accounts for most of the lag in delivery of finished products to the US. The varieties of fabrics needed to keep pace with the rapidly changing demand are not made available to Kenyan factories in a timely manner. (The East African, July 12) Too wordy. What is being said here exactly?
They were not welcome as the traders’ anger boiled over, leading to the clashes that saw dozens of vehicles smashed, revenue, business opportunities and man-hours lost. All roads entering and leaving the Kamukunji-Muthurwa roundabout were no-go zones, with rocks and teargas flying all over. (Daily Nation, July 12) Anger “boiled over”? What is “all roads entering and leaving”? Are there roads that “enter” a place but do not “leave”?
The drama ensued yesterday when CS Macharia appeared before Committee on Implementation chaired by Narok North MP Moitalel Ole Kenta to appraise the committee on the status of implementation of at least 20 kilometres of road in each of the Constituencies across the country. (Standard, July 12) Verbose. People don’t talk like that.
Busia County Executive Committee member Timon Otieno Mboga, who was charged alongside Governor Sospeter Ajaamong with conspiracy to defraud the county government of Sh8 million for the controversial solid waste management project died sometimes back…(People Wikendi, 7-8 July) That verb “died” is so many kilometers away from the subject! Why cram all that information into one sentence? And when is “sometimes back”? Last month? Ten years ago? Last year?
Sub-head reads: President urges legislators, labor leaders to engage in programme to ensue Kenyans get the affordable houses. People Daily, July 6. “Ensue” means, succeed, follow, arise, result and if used in the context of the text then it’s misplaced. Perhaps “ensure”?
In the story: The deliberation covered a wide array of aspects needed to lower the cost of housing in the country, including the escalating cost of land, provision of supporting infrastructure anchor legislations and financing. What is “a wide array of aspects”? Useless words.
Education Cabinet Secretary Amina Mohammed and all her senior officials have been all over the country, fighting and insisting that the ministry will not relent on its reforms. (Star, July 13)Has the CS and all her senior officials really been “all over the country”? Fighting who or what?
