By Njeri Mbugua
My feet are killing me. I’ve been struggling. I won’t lie. I’m at that place where this job is for bills and taxes and the hustle is for food and survival.
I remember getting into my little studio last night and looking at the mess I had left behind. Clothes from about two days ago lay spread out on my floor, my bed unmade with everything from a spoon used two nights back and match sticks, so many burnt match sticks….
An ashtray hangs on the edge of the bed and my joints of illegality seem crowned on top of the mess. I have no motivation to clean any of it. Usually, I’m a neatness freak but not tonight. Or yesterday night. Or the night before that.
I’m exhausted.
I got lucky today. I had left the house with no money but still managed to get to work on time and make an extra Sh70 that I used to come home. As I light up another matchstick, I think about my assignment tomorrow.
The invite said 7.30am.
I finish burning my thoughts and start sending those vicious “I need a favour” texts. I hate them. I hate sending them. I hate getting replies to them. Everyone I reach out to either claims to be in the same spot as me or just has enough to last them the day.
Fair enough. The universe will work something out.
I light up another matchstick as I wait. Zero notifications. I wake up around 10pm to a call from a relative. He needs something done tomorrow. I don’t want to, but I will. I’m tempted to ask for money but I can’t.
They said I work now, I can take care of myself. The fallacy of it all! I light up my third matchstick and find a Seth Rogen, James Franco flick. You know the one about pineapples and the world ending. 12.30am.
For messages, hope?
Failed. “Insufficient funds in your M-Pesa account as well as Fuliza….Dear customer, you have exhausted your data bundle.”
Dial *544# to…
“We are sorry, our system review shows you currently do not qualify for a branch loan…”
Hey. Imagine pia mimi sina….
I light up my third and half matchstick as I keep reviewing the messages. Over and over. Finally, I fall asleep with what I believe is a solid plan.
One time, two times, three times, go! I don’t want to be late so as soon as the 4.30am alarm goes off, I’m up. I’ve barely slept.
I keep tossing and checking my phone then my laptop, sleeping again, or at least trying to. As I sit up, the intensity of what I am about to do hits me… I can’t do this. Snooze to 5.00am. Beep… Beep… Snooze to 5.30am.
Three more times and I finally wake up at 6.30am. I get ready in an almost reluctant mood, light up another matchstick, get it halfway and leave. Before I leave the house I use my Pewa bundles and google distance from my location to Nairobi. 19kms.
Approximately three-hour walk.
It’s 7am and rest assured, I get to my event at a little past 9am. Began? No dear. Good because my feet are killing me!
Breakfast?
Njeri Mbugua is a graduate trainee at the Star
