One hundred days into an office that had no handing over and into which he was thrust after the impeachment of Rigathi Gachagua, Prof Kindiki is treading carefully and seems to understand that the office is literally littered with landmines (Nation Africa, February 9). If Kindiki’s office is “literally littered with landmines”, it means there are actual explosives in there, which is false. The landmines are figurative/metaphorical, not literal.
Questions have emerged about the productivity of some civil servants after it emerged that about 40,000 government workers failed to go on leave (Star, February 11, p.7). Questions have “emerged” after it “emerged”, aargh. Alafu, since you are talking about civil servants, why again say “government workers” in the same sentence? Better: Questions have emerged about the productivity of some civil servants after about 40,000 failed to go on leave.
Firms project low revenue, muted jobs in 2025 – KNCCI (Star, February 11, p.8). What’s “muted jobs”, wakuu?
Most businesses in Kenya are less optimistic about growth in the coming months…(Star, February 11, p.8). Next: Only 65 business owners out of every 100 (65 per cent) remain optimistic about growing their revenue in 2025. This is illiterate data interpretation. If 65 per cent of businesses expect growth, can you say ati “most businesses in Kenya are less optimistic about growth”?
Members of the public have been urged to embrace organ donation to save lives (People Daily, February 11, p.3). What do you mean “embrace”? Try: Members of the public have been urged to donate organs to save lives.
Engulfed by the picturesque waters of the Indian Ocean, Mombasa is an idyllic island county, paradoxically one of beauty and struggle (People Daily, February 11, p.15). Engulfed: covered completely. Kweli? Alafu, si kwa ubaya, how do you pack “engulfed”, “picturesque”, “idyllic” and “paradoxically” into the intro of a newspaper story? Sounds like a high school love letter.
Prince Rahim Aga Khan V officially succeeds his father (Nation, February 12, p.2). The adverb “officially” is almost always useless. Drop it from this headline and nothing will be lost. A good writer knows if a word adds no value don’t use it.
On December 15, 2024, a cancer patient was admitted to Moi Teaching and Referral Hospital in Eldoret for medical attention (Nation, February 12, p.19). Intro ends at Eldoret, full stop. A cancer patient (or any patient) is admitted to hospital “for medical attention” obviously, no need to state this.
The government plans to increase spending for the current financial year by an additional Sh199.9 billion (Standard, February 12, p.2). Gava plans to increase spending by Sh199.9 billion. Is there a need to say “an additional” once you have said “increase”?
Counties scorecard: Murang’a, Trans Nzoia lead in agriculture (Standard, February 12, p.6). Intro: A recent CountyTrak Performance Index 2024 has revealed significant disparities in the performance of county governments across key devolved sectors including agriculture, education, health, trade and tourism, energy and infrastructure. What’s the news here? This is preaching.
Proper intro comes up in para 3: Murang’a and Trans Nzoia emerged as the best-performing counties in agriculture, each scoring 51 per cent. This is the news. It is what the headline announces.
