Christina Kibiki, the secretary of Chama Cha Mapinduzi (CCM) for Kololo District, was tragically shot dead by unidentified assailants in a late-night attack that has left the local community in shock (The Citizen online, November 13). Para 3: Witnesses reported that Kibiki was ambushed between 4:30 and 5:00 pm on the outskirts of Njiapanda ya Tosamaganga. Sasa, ndugu wanahabari, is 4:30 to 5:00 pm “late night”?
Efforts to reach Iringa Regional Police Commander Allan Bukumbi for comments are ongoing as authorities intensify investigations into the incident. How do you know authorities are intensifying investigations, yet you haven’t reached the regional police boss? Who told you that?
The economic situation in the country has shown signs of recovery following two years of deliberate fiscal management, the Cabinet announced yesterday (Standard, November 15, p.2). Just say: The economy is recovering following two years of better management, the Cabinet announced yesterday. Crisp writing, not the wordy “economic situation in the country has shown signs of recovery” blah, blah.
During the meeting, President Ruto welcomed Deputy President Kithure Kindiki to his first Cabinet session as Deputy President, congratulating him on his nomination and appointment. How is this news? Who needs to know it, and why?
US ambassador resigns. Story is all over social media, radio and TV. What headline would attract you the next day? US ambassador Meg Whitman resigns (Star, November 14, p.1). Shockwave of Trump’s reelection hits home (Standard, with huge photo of Meg). Why US envoy resigned (Nation).
Around 11.50am on October 31, Lilian Achieng, a journalist with an FM station, left her parents’ home in Umoja estate, Nairobi, for Kahawa West to meet her boyfriend (Nation, November 15, p.12). Para 8: She left her parents’ home shortly before noon. Stated in the intro, ala.
In his statement, Mwenda said Achieng became violent and attempted to attack him. He added that when she became violent…Urgh, repetition. Where are we heading as writers?
The Inject party has openly declared its ambition to reshape the country’s political landscape in the lead-up to elections (Nation, November 12, p.6). Empty words. What exactly is “to reshape the country’s political landscape”? Be clear.
The senator’s push came as he wondered why her former colleagues at KNTC, with whom she was implicated, had been sent home yet she was not touched (Nation, November 12, p.2). Senator’s push. Wiper Party leader Kalonzo Musyoka and former Deputy President Rigathi Gachagua are among those who are wooing the Gen Zs, emboldened by a series of recent protests, pushing for a greater voice in governance. Pushing for. Push to end abuse of women in maternity wards (Healthy Nation, p.6). Push. All tenders valued at less than Sh1 billion will be reserved for Kenyan firms under a government-backed push to protect them against well-unfunded foreign companies (p.24). Government-backed push. Push, push, pushing.
Kenyans lack basic legal knowledge touching on the right to bail and bond, a new report by the National Crime Research Centre shows (Standard, November 12, p.2). Next: This deficiency also touches on people within the criminal justice system as well. Touching on, touches on. Repeating words and expressions is evidence of linguistic poverty of the writer. Plus, “also” in the second sentence means “as well”. Use one.
The High Court has declared sections of the law that gives the Communications Authority of Kenya (CA) sweeping powers to control content aired by media houses in Kenya (Standard, November 12, p.5). Incomplete. High Court “declared” what exactly?
