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Can you write a good headline? KBC needs your help

Poisons board issues warning on counterfeit Herceptin 440mg in Kenyan market (KBC, May 11). What’s that? Intro: The Pharmacy and Poisons Board (PPB) has issued an alert over a suspicious batch of counterfeit breast cancer treatment drug, Herceptin 440mg (Trastuzumab 440mg), detected in the market. Better headline: Pharmacy board warns over fake breast cancer drug on sale. Simple. Clear. You are a communicator, not a pharmacist.

Reject corruption in all its manifestations, Ruto tells newly appointed judges (KBC, May 14). Prezo can say “manifestations” but you can’t put that in a headline. Reject corruption in all its “forms”. Always use a shorter word. It is sharper, clearer.

She claimed that during the trial, they faced cases of intimidation including lights being switched off of lights (People Daily, May 14, p.4). Meaning?

A widowed Kenyan mother of five who is bedridden after being involved in an accident in Saudi Arabia three months ago is crying out for help (Nation, May 16, p.2). Para 5: But the situation back home is worse. Margaret’s sister Joyce Mutua reveals that Margaret’s second-born child was admitted at Kenyatta National Hospital after she got burnt and needs Sh200,000 for treatment. Their father is also ailing. Which father, again, after the intro describes Margaret as “a widowed Kenyan mother of five”?

Jimmy Kibaki elects farming after leaving active politics (People Daily online, May 16). Yes, “elects” means chooses. But words have both denotative and connotative meanings. In Kenya “elects” means something specific. Why not simply say chooses or opts for? That’s clarity.

Kenya to host its World Cup qualifier match against Burundi in Lilongwe, Malawi, on June 7, 2024, due to lack of Fifa approved stadium in the country, FKF says (Citizen Digital, May 14). This is contradictory. If Kenya is to “host” a match, it means the game will be played here. If that match is played in Lilongwe or anywhere else, then Kenya is not hosting it.

Ruto should respect Uhuru – Karua says as calls for united Mt Kenya reign in Limuru III meeting (People Daily online, May 18). But calls cannot “reign”.

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