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Between eviction and resettlement, which is more emotive?

Households in flood-prone areas face eviction, says Ruto (Nation headline, April 26, p.1). President Ruto yesterday said the government would evict families living in flood-prone areas. He directed the National Youth Service to provide land to settle those in the most affected regions. Swali: Is this an “eviction” or relocation/resettlement? Nation journalists, of course, know the difference and which of the two words is more emotive.

Striking health workers will not be paid for failing to show up at their work stations, Health Cabinet Secretary Susan Nakhumicha has said (Nation, April 26, p.8). Striking workers will not be paid. The rest of that intro before the attribution – “for failing to show up at their workstations” – is unnecessary, because that is what “striking” means.

Posponed: Memorial service for General Ogolla scheduled for Friday put off indefinitely (Nation, April 25, p.1). Editor dropped the ‘t’. Blame Nairobi flooding.

Police and mortuary attendants offload six bodies of boat tragedy victims at Baringo County Referral Hospital mortuary in Kabarnet town yesterday. The seven died when… (Nation photo caption, April 25, p.19). Six or seven?

It has since emerged that the ill-fated boat was overloaded and was carrying 23 people instead of 10 (Nation, April 25, p.19). Six paras down: The county commissioner said they are still carrying out investigations to ascertain the cause of the accident. But already the writer reported the cause of the accident as overloading, the boat carrying more than double its capacity? You must decide who to believe, the source of the overloading claim or the county commissioner claiming to be still investigating.

Nakuru County will partner with Ireland to boost potato production and dairy farming, Governor Susan Kihika (left) has says (Nation, April 25, p.20). Has says?

In the video, Okiro’s eyes were blindfolded with a red cloth tied around the head (Standard, April 25, p.6). Wordy. In the video, Okiro was blindfolded with a red cloth. You save “eyes were” and “tied around the head”. That’s what blindfolding is. The sentence is clear without all these superfluous words.

US ambassador to Kenya Meg Whitman has recalled her time at the helm of eBay, a global online market place (Enterprise, Standard, April 25, p.5). Drab intro. An intro should be strong, gripping, whetting the reader’s appetite. An ambassador merely recalling time at her old job can’t be why anyone would want to read this story.

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