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Heard of woman with more than two breasts? Try Kenyan journalism

Why I went topless on social media after losing two of my breasts to cancer – Diana Awuor, cancer thriver speaks (Citizen Digital, January 16). It’s survivor, “thriver” doesn’t exist. And if you say she lost “two of” her breasts, it means she has more than a pair and the others are fine. That’s not the same as “I lost my two breasts”.

She the church to start such projects, which she she are meant to address disparities in society (Standard, January 17, p.10). What’s this? Get back to work, sherehe zimeisha.

The students from underprivileged backgrounds were yesterday issued with bursaries in a ceremony graced by Governor Susan Kihika and senior county officials (Nation, January 17, p.2). What is so good about writing “underprivileged backgrounds” instead of “poor families”? Journalists write concretely and clearly.

Nearly 200,000 students may have dropped out of secondary school in the last four years, raising questions about the 100 per cent transition drive (Standard, January 11, p.2). Wrong. The apparent problem here is not 100 per cent transition. They proceeded from primary, didn’t they? Dropping out of school is a problem of retention. As a reporter, try to gain expert knowledge of your beat.

He pointed out what he called the irony of employed individuals opposing such projects while themselves enjoying medical care (Standard, January 8, p.8). What is “themselves” doing in this sentence?

Later, Deputy President Rigathi Gachagua unequivocally pronounced himself on the same following demolitions in Kiriko, Nakuru County (Standard editorial, January 8, p.12). How did Riggy G “unequivocally pronounce himself”? What does that mean? It’s not journalistic writing.

Doctors advocate for early diagnosis to curb high arthritis cases (Health and Science, Standard, January 8, p.8). Not true. Early diagnosis does not “curb” (reduce) number of cases of a disease. How now? Early diagnosis increases chances of recovery (or improves treatment outcomes).

Thousands in Likuyani get sigh of relief as MP delivers (People Daily, January 8, p.4). You don’t “get” a sigh of relief. From where? You heave (produce) a sigh of relief, see?

The senators have raised concern that the funds under could by lost through corruption (Nation, January 8, p.18). What was being reported here?

Nairobi county assembly is today set to commence the ongoing probe of revenue collection where mysterious individual Benson Njoroge who is allegedly believed to be controlling tax systems will be grilled (People Daily, January 9, p.12). Leaving aside the little matter of a “mysterious individual” who has name, what’s “to commence the ongoing probe”? How does the county assembly begin (“commence”) a probe that is “ongoing”?

The mysterious individual, according to the Chief Officer for Smart Nairobi Tirus Njoroge, is the system developer. His name and job are known, so why is he still “mysterious individual”? What’s happening to journalism?

Raila and Uhuru – all key luminaries in Azimio – are seeking to replace Moussa Faki of Chad as the new AU Commission chairperson (Star, January 9, p.2). Correct word is “both” key luminaries, a determiner referring to two people or things, not “all”, which suggests a bigger number.

The smile on their faces could tell they were happy (Standard, January 9, p.22). You don’t need to write that. It’s banal, lazy. There are so many ways to vividly convey the joy at a wedding.

In Vihiga County, Charles Odede from Kisumu County arrived and walked into the compound of Chavakali High School with only a paper bag carrying a few items. Odede from Kadibo constituency…(Standard, January 16, p.6). Kisumu County has seven constituencies: Kisumu East, Kisumu Central, Kisumu West, Muhoroni, Nyando, Nyakach and Seme. The Standard created Kadibo.

Government textbooks found abandoned inside forest in Nyamira (Citizen Digital, January 20). Which forest in Nyamira? Para 2: The textbooks, intended for Nyamira North and Nyamira South, were discovered discarded along the Kaptagat Kaptarakwa murram road inside Kaptagat Forest on Saturday, January 20, 2024. That is in Keiyo South, Elgeyo Marakwet County, not “in Nyamira”, as stated in the headline.

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