Who won that cyber blitzkrieg launched by Kenyans on Nigeria? The hashtag #KenyaVsNigeria trended from March 2.
Memes featured Nairobi’s tastefully decorated nganyas side by side with ramshackle coffins-on-wheels in Lagos. President-elect crumbling under the weight of years propped up on either side by aides as he is led to the podium to take the oath of office. Or purportedly inspecting a military guard of honour, compared to an energetic and ramrod straight President Ruto.
A Roto tank “Nigeria First Lady” juxtaposed with Kenya’s Rachel Ruto. Kenya’s Head of State against Nigeria’s “End of State”.
A puffy bloke drowning in rivers of sweat under the caption, “Nigerian after constructing a complete English sentence without ‘Oga’ in it”. A handwritten, repeatedly crossed Nigerian Form 34A did the rounds. “A rare picture of Nigerian soldiers escorting their president to the state House” (Picture of city ‘Kanjos’ in grey uniform clinging on their notorious van).
Nigeria’s presidential election, the largest in Africa, dominated international news coverage of the continent for months. But Kenyan media, perhaps still recovering from the fatigue of our own election six months ago, paid scant attention.
Or with the ravaging drought and famine, impossible cost of living, mass unemployment, the din of political bickering, and what else, who has the stomach for events unfolding so far away?
Former President Uhuru Kenyatta headed the African Union elections observer mission, but except for the newspapers there was little reporting of the poll in the African giant.
Nigerians hardly fired back on the KOT memes, perhaps generally too disappointed by the outcome of the election to find anything to brag about their country.
Multi-award-winning cartoonist Gado “weighed in” with a pithy caricature in The Continent weekly depicting outgoing Muhammadu Buhari handing over his hospital drip kit as the baton to a panting and huffing Bola Tinubu, former governor of Lagos.
The pan-African weekly published in South Africa ran briefs from some Nigerian observers who gave their takes on how things were.
Anita Eboigbe, Big Cabal Media: “The running theme of his leadership philosophy, from what is publicly available, is thuggery, use of force, corruption, poor urban planning, and nepotism over merit. A Tinubu presidency, to me, appears to be a combination of all these on a wider, national scale. It’s a scary prospect…”
Wilfred Okiche, film critic: “This was the worst possible outcome for anyone hoping for some kind of progress following the disastrous years of the Muhammadu Buhari presidency.”
Ann Godwin, Nigerian Guardian: “There was unusual coldness across Rivers State. Many residents did not come out to celebrate the outcome of the election and some said it did not reflect the true position of the votes.”
We leave the last word to Socrates Mbalu, editor-in-chief of Aso Times:
“The results are not a reflection of the will of the people. Tinubu’s presidency will only be a reflection of Tinubu’s Lagos, which was characterised by chaos, cronyism, corruption and arrogance. If you think Nigeria can’t get worse than Buhari, think again. With Tinubu, a new vulture circles Nigeria, laying bare not a country but a carcass.”
Oh my! KOT may have won the #KenyaVsNigeria cyber blitzkrieg it launched, but one must give it to the Nigerians for their stunning mastery of the written word. Such delicious prose.
Want the back story on Nigeria’s new president? The Nigerian investigative journalist David Hundeyin, founder and editor of the West Africa Weekly, must have been literally shaking with fear and rage last year when he published his extensive exposé titled, “Bola Ahmed Tinubu: From drug lord to presidential candidate.”
The story, among other sources, includes copies of US “federal case files from July 1993 containing clear and incontrovertible evidence that Bola Ahmed Tinubu was once, in fact, a bagman handling and laundering proceeds of heroin trafficking for a Nigerian drug ring in Chicago.”
But “Tinubu’s vast army of media shills and spokespeople have spun an endless web of narratives explaining why what is written in black and white is all a big mistake or a mischaracterisation.”
Go read that story, Oga.
