Let’s take a break for comic relief, shall we? Things are never that serious.
What are the most hilarious newspaper headlines you ever read? Take your pick on the Internet: “Diana was still alive hours before she died”. “World Bank says poor need more money”. “Rooms with broken air conditioners are hot”. “Statistics show that teenage pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25”.
Well, Kenyan newspapers have recently had a run with comical headlines and headings.
Let’s start with two adverts that stood out this week in the People Daily, online edition. The first announced, “New used Toyota Hilux Thailand.”
What do you think? Is an auto dealer really selling “new used” Toyotas from Thailand? You’ve heard of the proverbial snake oil salesman, no? The term describes a promoter of some valueless or fraudulent cure, remedy or solution.
We’re sure People Daily is not getting into snake oil business. Or they wouldn’t try to sell you a “new used” car. Simple: if it’s new, it can’t be used. If it’s used, it can’t be new.
The second advert said, “Bachelor Aviation Management.” Is that a title of a dude? No? Perhaps a description of unmarried guy in aviation? Ah, they meant to sell you on a college offering a bachelor’s degree in aviation management. Ahem, how could you write that title meaningfully?
Now to real story headings. “The art of crying and its benefit,” ran a heading in the Star, “Lifestyle” pullout on December 19.
The story said people should cry because crying may clear your skin, detoxify your body, soothe you, restore emotional balance, dull pain, or help you cope with grief.
Perfect! But what was “art” doing in that heading? “Art” suggests a habitual pursuit, a skill, a deliberate endeavor that should be joyously perfected over time. So, should crying be turned into an art?
At least one reader called out the absurdity, with sarcasm. Going by the handle “The Flying Scotsman,” the reader quipped in the comments section: “Thank you for your very great post. I have learnt that I should be beaten everyday and cry. Please come beat mẹ. I will pay you.”
Still with the Star, did you catch this December 4 heading: “Ruto woes Nyeri with over Sh5 million donations in his tour.” Yeah, woe. And that’s how a single misplaced word killed that heading.
Comic relief? These headings were meant to communicate serious business — until they did not.
Story headings are like a roadmap. They’re meant to guide you into a story, helping you decipher quickly what a story is about, so that you can decide if to dig in or not.
Instead, these headings just lost you.
