Ruto calls crisis talks (headline, September 4). Kicker: Smarting from damaging revelations this week, the Deputy President and his allies are holed up in a resort in Nanyuki for two days, crafting a strategy they hope will counter the onslaught by Raila and President Kenyatta.
Next day: Ruto courts Central with deputy offer. Kicker: Meeting with Mt Kenya politicians follows Raila’s recent onslaught.
September 7: Uhuru’s allies take on Ruto over riches. Kicker: Onslaught against Deputy President….
A number of boarding schools in Tana River County have already been closed due to lack of water as humanitarian organisations warn of a dire situation ahead if urgent measures are not taken (Nation, September 6, p.9). “A number” is just lazy. Accuracy is key in news reporting. Why was it so difficult for this reporter to count the closed schools or find out from education authorities, so readers could get a clear sense of the seriousness of the problem?
The Covid-19 pandemic has exposed the country’s expensive healthcare, leaving patients and their families to bear the brunt of huge medical bills (Nation, September 8, p.1). The 13-word second part of this sentence after the comma is unnecessary because it merely restates “expensive healthcare”. Read again.
CBC pushing parents to the academic wall (Standard headline, September 7, p.1). What is an “academic wall”?
On August 27, Seth Mwenda, his wife Yvonne Mueke and their two-year-old daughter were riding home at around 2am from St John’s hospital in Githurai where they had been for at least two hours. During the midnight trip…(Standard, September 6, p.3). Is “around 2am” the same as “midnight”?
The leaders, led by Treasury CS Ukur Yatani and Eldas MP Adan Keynan, unveiled Upya Movement last week (Star, September 6, p.7) “The leaders, led” is an awkward construction. Rewrite.
Speaking during an interview with KNA, Wamalwa said that so far over 10 counties are affected heavily including Turkana, Marsabit, Garissa, Wajir, Madera, Isiolo, Samburu, Kilifi, Tana River and Lamu (MyGov, September 7, p.1). Replace “during an interview with” (four words), with “to” (one word). Speaking to KNA, that is neater.
