Taxman to raise Sh6.1 trillion over next three years (MyGov. headline, January 22, p.3) Certain words commonly used in media reports promote gender bias. Taxman is one, when referring to Kenya Revenue Authority. Another is weatherman as a substitute for the Meteorological Department. Businessmen, even when some of those referred to are women. Chairman is still common even when the office holder is a woman. Chairperson or chair is now often in use. Find appropriate substitutes for these words that entrench male supremacy.
The multi-sectoral initiative against corruption has taken the approach where Kenyans and leaders from all sectors have owned up to the fact that the war against corruption starts with each individual person, the sector and then all of us as a nation. (MyGov, January 22, p.6) Two points: One, “own up” is wrongly used here. The phrase means to admit or confess to having done something wrong or embarrassing. Two, “individual person” is repetitive as both mean the same.
Only 16 percent of Kenyan women affected by cervical cancer know their status, meaning thousands others are unaware of the condition (People Daily, January 22, 2019, p. 4). The second part of that intro after the comma is unnecessary because that is the meaning contained in the first segment.
Diaspora remittance has recorded a 39 per cent growth for the 12 months to December 2018 at 274.2 billion shillings up from 197.9 billion shillings recorded during the same period in 2017. (KBC online, January 21) Bad writing. Who wants to read a single sentence with six figures? You can’t wrap your head around all those figures at once.
A 69-page Kenya-Ethiopia Agricultural Trade Corridor study conducted by the New Markets Lab in Partnership with the Usaid East Africa Trade and Investment Hub found that Moyale Township and the larger Marsabit County could benefit immensely from new investments in processing and storage of agricultural produce and livestock at all economic levels. (Nation, Smart Company, January 22, p33). This bulky sentence with long names of institutions fails to communicate effectively.
Secondary schools across the country are grappling with infrastructural challenges and overstretched facilities as a result of the full transition policy recently introduced by the Ministry of Education (People Daily, January 23, p.2) Bad writing. You can’t say “infrastructural challenges and overstretched facilities”. It is either. Why? Because overstretched facilities is the only infrastructural challenge secondary school face. Are there others? There are other problems, say teacher shortage, but they are not infrastructural.
